Why She Did It
by Icicle Streams
Summary: Rikku reflects on why she may have done something and how Gippal reacts to said action. Oneshot. Please read and review, constructive criticism is very welcome.


**_Hey all! I've had a few stories floating around, and even though this isn't perfect, I wanted to post something since I hadn't for a while. _**

**_Just me exploring the significance of a kiss (please note that when I say 'hook up' or 'get together' I don't mean sex. Just kissing someone passionately that you're not going out with)  
_**

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She knew exactly why she'd done it. She just couldn't put it into words.

Maybe it was because she'd been feeling so inferior lately: there was Yuna, High Summoner newly married to her long-lost love; Paine who never missed a step and just exuded confidence; Kimahri who was Elder of a whole race and Lulu, who was... well, Lulu, and perfect. Everyone had their own little niche in life, that place they just belonged. Even Clasko had found his calling. But Rikku was no-one in particular; not the smartest, not the strongest, not the prettiest. She didn't have anything to call her own, not Blitzball or machina, or fighting, magic or singing. She was nothing compared to all the amazing people she knew.

And then maybe it was because he was cute. He wasn't as big as the other players, but then again, she'd always liked tall and lean guys. And at six-foot eight and with his thin build, he was definitely one of those guys. He had a sweet smile that spread to his eyes, hiding the imperfection of his slightly odd shaped nose. And he had the taught, toned muscles of a good forward. Though other girls wouldn't have thought so, _she _thought he was kinda hot.

And maybe his personality also had something to do with it. He had a certain charm about him, the way he'd make his jokes and put on a heavy Al Bhed or Ronso accent just to get her to smile. And he made her feel good about herself, with little compliments that made her blush. She knew she didn't love him, didn't truly love him. But she caught herself flirting with him all the same, gently hitting him when he said something stupid or outrageously politically incorrect and softly touching his muscular arm at any opportunity. He made her feel like somebody, someone beautiful and worth loving.

So even though it was only at that party that she had gotten to know him, they'd become good friends. They'd been talking in the corner for over an hour, desert wine in hand, celebrating the Psyches' most recent win. And after a while, the glasses sat forgotten on a nearby table, drained of the alcoholic liquid... Maybe that had something to do with it too... He'd been flirting more and more, and she'd been flirting right back. He looked so good... and the way his blonde hair was forever falling into those gorgeous green eyes... She felt so dirty; she just wanted to throw herself at him and straddle his hips, kissing him senseless... so of course, when he pulled her close, she responded completely. His breath was hot against her face and neck, making her tremble with pleasure. Her heart pounded as he gently held her cheek and kissed her tenderly, the blood coursing steadily around her body as her heartbeat quickened. He held her softly, but she wanted more. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, feeling his firm chest against hers through the thin shirt. She felt his hands slide down her waist, making her shiver while she ran her hands through his hair, stroking those gorgeous golden locks. She gasped as his hands dropped a little lower, making him laugh against her lips, a warm, golden vibration that echoed inside of her. How long they spent, making out in the corner, she didn't know. She'd heard a few people wolf whistle, but no one really noticed them; it was a pretty raging party. She was glad there weren't any private side rooms or anything; as much as she wanted to get with him, she had no intention of sleeping with him. Of course, it was pretty tempting to become closer when she felt how firm his muscles were, but she wouldn't go there. How could anyone even suggest that?

So Gippal had _no_ right to say anything to her... And maybe he was the reason she'd hooked up with Eigaar; _he_ was nice to her, _he_ paid attention to her, _he_ actually noticed her. But not Gippal... she'd been dropping hints for the past two years and he didn't do anything about it, so clearly he didn't return her attraction. But Eigaar did, and he _did do _something about it.

She had walked into Djose temple as usual, just as she'd been doing twice a week for the past two years. It had been two weeks since that party in Luca, and only a few people had said anything to her about Eigaar, just a passing comment or little joke. She'd just smiled with a little blush; it was embarrassing, but it also proved something to everyone, including herself. She was worthwhile, she was able to be loved, she was just as good as those other girls. It had surprised her a bit that Gippal hadn't said anything about it yet; she had expected him to at least tease her about it. But he'd just gone on without a single word, just as always. So she carried on as well, just as always.

"Hey Gip," she greeted as she entered the workshop.

He looked up from his machina at her without a smile.

"Shouldn't you be in Luca with Eigaar or something?" he teased with a little laugh. But the laughter didn't extend up to his eyes.

And then she figured out why he hadn't said anything. He hadn't heard yet.

"Well, it's not like we're joined at the hip. I don't have to be with him all the time."

He crossed his arms and stared at her, a fiery intensity in his emerald eye that startled her.

"I can't believe you got with him," he said quietly.

She bit her lip and looked down, remaining silent. What could she possibly say to that? Why would he even ask her something like that? There was nothing you could say in response to that and still retain any morsel of dignity.

"Come on, this is Eigaar we're talking about!"

"What's that supposed to mean? He's a nice guy."

"I know... but... I... _we_..." he stammered. He inhaled deeply and sighed. "I just can't believe you got with him... You could've at least had the decency to tell me about it, instead of leaving me in the dark for so long."

"What, I'm meant to waltz in her and say 'Guess what I did on the weekend? I hooked up with the forward of the Psyches!' Besides, why do you care so much? It was just a kiss," she found herself saying as an excuse. But when she looked him in the eye, she knew it wasn't just that, wasn't just a kiss.

He stood there, still and silent, infuriating her. He goes around throwing wild accusations like that and look at him now. Nothing to say for himself, and no apologies or anything for her.

"Well?" she spat at him, while he stood there, looking sorry for himself.

"Look, Rikku, I don't have time for this."

"_You _don't have time for this? I just came to do a little work and the first thing you do is jump down my throat. It's none of your business what I do!"

"Damn it Rikku, _zicd ku vilg res _(just go f*** him). It's obvious who your choice is now," he muttered angrily, turning away towards his machina engine.

"Because he _actually _cares about me!"

"What, and I don't?"

"He's nice to me," she continued on, ignoring him. "He treats me properly. He pays attention to me and he was man enough to show me how he felt. If you cared at all, you would've done something before now, instead of yelling at me for kissing another guy!"

And so then she'd stormed out and took the hover straight down to Luca to cry in said guy's arms. Because he actually loved her. And that was why she did it.

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**_Please give me your thoughts about this one, since I wasn't completely happy with it, I'd love to know if there's anything that could be improved on. _**

**_Thanks! :)_**

**_-Icicle Streams_**

**_P.S. And now thanks to LittleAlBhed and Lady_Nicole, I'm not sure whether to put this as complete, in case I want to write a second part! ARGH! :)  
_**


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